For Families

As a family member of someone who has post traumatic stress disorder, life can be difficult. You might feel any number of different emotions, including guilt, fear, anger, frustration, and sadness. As the family member of a veteran with PTSD, you might have expected your family member to return from the military as the same person he or she was when s/he left, but experiencing traumatic events profoundly changed that person.
You might feel guilty for feeling any negative feelings toward that family member because you feel it inappropriate to be mad at someone who went through a terrible trauma. You might not understand why that family member isn’t getting better, maintaining a job, or is isolating him or herself from the family. You might feel anger at that person for all of those things, too.

You might be afraid of angry outbursts or what the person will do when you aren’t there because of his or her anxious and unpredictable behavior. You might feel frustrated at that person for distancing him or herself from the family or for not seeking or staying in treatment. You might feel discouraged if treatment isn’t improving or eliminating symptoms. You might feel sad because you feel like there is nothing you can do to make the situation better, which is a tough place to be in when you are accustomed to that person turning to you for help.

You might blame yourself for not being able to help enough. You might feel as though if you could figure out the right thing to say or do, you could make the situation better. You might begin to feel depressed because your sense of normalcy is gone. The anxiety your family member feels might prevent your family from going out in public together (for instance to restaurants or movies), or it might prevent him or her from maintaining employment and therefore cause financial troubles for your family.

The Ghost Rider Foundation wants you to know that these feelings are completely normal. PTSD isn’t easy for anyone – not the person with PTSD nor their families and friends. Someone with PTSD often feels helpless with their circumstances, and families can feel the same way. But the GRF wants you to know that there are things that you can do to help your family member cope with PTSD.

Looking for warning signs of PTSD

You might have a family member who is a veteran but are unsure if his or her behavior is symptomatic of PTSD. Some telltale signs of PTSD include trouble sleeping, becoming withdrawn, being highly anxious and on alert to the point of having anxiety attacks, having suicidal thoughts, substance abuse, and easily becoming angry or having outbursts of rage.

The most important thing to note is behavior that has changed since your family member returned from service in the military. Did s/he always have trouble sleeping? Did s/he always have a temper? Was s/he once a sociable person who now has no interest in being around people? Does s/he talk as if s/he doesn’t have a future?

Being aware of behavior common in people with PTSD, like being very withdrawn and highly anxious, will better prepare you to know what to look for and where to look for treatment. It’s especially important because your family member might not recognize his or her behavioral changes as something that needs professional treatment, because often responses are unconscious, or your family member might be wary of seeking treatment.

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